


Confrontation at Ostagar

by FenZev



Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-05
Updated: 2014-06-15
Packaged: 2017-12-25 18:18:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/956214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FenZev/pseuds/FenZev
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loghain and Alistair both return to Ostagar to face the demons of their past.<br/>Will these two finally be able to move on from the events of that dark day? Or<br/>will coming face to face with the reality of what happened be too much, and<br/>end in their final confrontation? A short story AU re-telling of Return to<br/>Ostagar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Decision

_**A/N: I was inspired by sn0w0wl to replay Origins and recruit Loghain thanks to her fic Solace Amidst the Chaos. As I took Loghain to Ostagar, I wondered what the interactions would've been like if he and Alistair both had gone to face their past. What was going to be a one-shot, I decided to break it up into a few small chapters. Hope you enjoy this AU telling of the DLC Return to Ostagar (to include spoilers, obviously).** _

* * *

"Forgive me for saying so, my dear Warden," Zevran began, "but I do believe you've gone completely mad."

Elyse Cousland nodded, a little too much as Zevran scolded her for moving while he was braiding her hair. She leaned into him, allowing her back to rest on his chest, and his hands left her dark locks to settle over her shoulders. "Mad indeed," she agreed with a sigh. "But someone has to make the tough decisions, and it seems everyone has been satisfied with me doing so."

"This is not a decision you needed to make," he reminded her. "Is it not enough that they have yet to kill each other?"

"They need to forgive each other," Elyse whispered. "Neither one of them can move on from this unless they confront it head on, together."

Now it was Zevran's turn to sigh. "You are too kind for your own good," he said, lowering his head to nuzzle her ear. "Part of the reason why I adore you. Still, they are more likely to kill each other than come to any understanding. You are a fool to think otherwise."

Elyse turned her head to meet his lips with hers, enjoying the quiet moment before she announced her intentions. "I must be, I'm with you aren't I?"

Zevran pulled back, mocking a wounded expression. "Bested again," he said with a frown. "I know, you are only using me for my body."

"And your skills in its use," Elyse said, crawling on her knees toward him for another kiss.

Zevran willingly caved to her advance, but then reluctantly pulled away. "We mustn't start something we can not finish," he said. "They are waiting."

"I know." For the hundredth time that day, Elyse wondered if she was doing the right thing. The next few minutes would at least tell her how the others felt about her decision, and she quietly braced herself for their reactions.

**.*~*~*.**  


"Absolutely not!" Alistair protested, glaring at Elyse. "You can not do this, you can not ask this of me. Not after everything that man has done!" he said, pointing at Loghain.

"What I have done is what I have always done," Loghain stated. "Whatever was necessary for the good of Ferelden."

Alistair continued to shake his head. "No, there is no way. Against everything I believed in, I remained with you after you allowed him to join the Wardens. But this, this is too much."

"Alistair…" Elyse tried, but he wasn't listening.

"He killed Cailan. Duncan! And you ask that I return to Ostagar with him?" Alistair began to pace, fuming in his own anger. "So he can what, point out yet again all the reasons why their deaths meant nothing, because it was 'for the good of Ferelden?'" he asked in a mocking tone.

Elyse was surprised, and thankful, that Loghain stood his ground against yet another round of these accusations from Alistair, and remained silent while the soon-to-be king lashed out at him. "Elric insisted we retrieve those documents from the King's chest," she reminded him. "We _have_ to go back."

" _We_ don't have to do anything," Alistair said. "Take your new recruit and your assassin, and leave me out of it."

"If the boy does not wish to go, then so be it," Loghain said, breaking his silence. "We'll probably be better off without his tantrums while facing the darkspawn anyhow."

Alistair marched up to Loghain, coming within inches of the Hero of River Dane. "You know nothing about darkspawn," he spat. "You ran, remember? Tucked tail and left the rest of us to fight for our lives! Then you continued to hound us, sent assassins after us, never giving us a moment of peace. So yes, I am having a tantrum, from the months of torment you put us through!"

"Your fellow Warden doesn't seem to mind the assassin I sent," Loghain pointed out. "And don't pretend to care at all for Cailan, the brother who had everything you did not. We both know you aren't mourning his loss nearly as much as you claim. You'll soon have his title, and his wife. Rather convenient, his death was for you, from where I'm standing."

Elyse moved to intervene, seeing Alistair's fist clench in preparation for a swing. Pushing him slightly out of the way so she could stand between them, she tried to justify her decision. "You need to go to face your grief," Elyse said to Alistair, jabbing her finger into his chest. "You say you've moved on from it, but clearly you have not. And you," she turned to Loghain, "have more guilt inside you than I do for leaving my family behind. You can keep claiming it was for the good of Ferelden, but I know in your heart you regret leaving Maric's son to die. So let's all calm down and stop repeating the same stupid arguments of a history we can not change."

"I have forgiven you for making me king, and forcing me to marry Anora, that bastard's daughter," Alistair whispered. "I have even forgiven you for allowing _him_ to go through the Joining. But I can not forgive you if you make me do this. I can't do it. I _won't_ do it."

She opened her mouth to reply, but Alistair had already turned his back on her and was walking away. "Let him go," Loghain muttered behind her. "He's clearly not ready to face what you ask of him."

Elyse turned to look at Loghain. "Are you? Willing to face the consequences of your actions?"

Loghain rubbed his stubbled chin, as if feeling the intended blow from Alistair. "I believe whatever Cailan may have stashed in that chest is important enough to return for," he said, "especially if it has to do with the Orlesians. As for witnessing what remains of Ostagar after my men and I retreated, I assure you Warden, I face it every night in my dreams."

"Good," she said with a shrug. "Then you won't mind facing it once more. We leave tomorrow, and Alistair _will_ be joining us."


	2. Convincing Alistair

Elyse approached Alistair as if he were a frightened animal, ready to bolt at any moment. He was kneeling down along the riverbed, no doubt covering his trousers with mud, but with the mood he was in, she doubted he cared. When she stepped on a twig, the snapping sound was immediately followed with his back stiffening, but she was thankful he didn't run.

"Can we talk?" she asked quietly, sitting beside him without waiting for an answer. "Or I could talk, and you could maybe listen?"

"That's what you do best, isn't it?" his angered reply came. "Convince us we are an unstoppable force, ready to take down an Archdemon? Coerce an assassin sent to kill you into loving you? Somehow manipulate a man who knows nothing of leadership to become a king?"

"You give me too much credit. The assassin did that all on his own," Elyse joked, hoping to lighten the mood. When she saw it did not have the desired effect, she tried a different approach. "I had hoped all of my convincing, coercing, manipulating as you call it, would be seen for what it truly was: someone who cares about all of you, and who would do anything to see you all happy."

Alistair shook his head. "I get it, the king thing, really I do. It took me awhile, but I even get that marrying Anora is for the best. I don't know what I'm doing, and she's had years of experience beside Cailan. But there is no good, no happiness, to be found at Ostagar. And that traitor and I will never see eye to eye, no matter what you say."

Elyse brought her knees up to her chest, and wrapped her arms around her legs. The night air was certainly chilly, or maybe it was the company. "I want to go back to Highever," she told him. "When this is all over, I need to go back, face what was done to my family. Do you think that will be easy for me? I know what I'm asking of you."

"You aren't returning to your family's estate with Rendon Howe," Alistair said coldly. "Nor are you being asked to get along with him while you do it."

His words stung with truth, but she tried not to show just how much. "You're right," Elyse acknowledged. "But Howe isn't here trying to make amends for his actions. And while Loghain still believes what he did was right, I know he also carries a lot of guilt for what he's done. Allowing his best friend's son to perish, along with countless others including Duncan, that has to be taking a toll on his heart."

"Good," Alistair spat. "He should be dead for his crimes, not be allowed to go and witness his handy work. And he never should've been allowed to go through the Joining. That man is a disgrace to the Wardens."

Elyse struggled to maintain her composure at his stubbornness. "What do you care? You claim to be leaving the Wardens, remember? Which leaves Riordan and I to take that final blow, when the time comes. I have a fifty-fifty chance of dying very soon Alistair, so forgive me if I'm okay with the odds bending a little in my favor. Even before I decided to save Loghain, you were never going to get near the Archdemon, Riordan and I had already agreed to it."

Alistair turned to face her, his expression dark and full of anger. "Just like Duncan, deciding my fate without any concern for my feelings."

"Duncan saved you at Ostagar. Saved me. Whether you can say the words aloud or not, he gave his life so that you could live. I agreed to do the same, so he did not die in vain."

"Why do you care?" Alistair asked. "Why is this so important to you? I can't understand why you defend Loghain over me, someone who has travelled with you these past few months, known you to be a friend. I don't get it."

"Because I'm scared," Elyse admitted before realizing the words had left her. "Loghain...his actions...I could've done the same thing."

Alistair shook his head. "Are you crazy? There's no way you would leave innocents to die, you are nothing like that monster."

"I very well could be," Elyse said, continuing to stare straight ahead over the lake. "When you and I went to Lothering, and were attacked by those farmers, did you know that they were the first humans I had ever killed? They were innocent, only seeking a way to make some coin to save their families, and we killed them."

"We had no choice," Alistair said, softening the tone of his voice. "They attacked us, what were we supposed to do, let them kill us?"

Elyse shrugged. "No. I don't know. It's just…seeing them lay in the grass, bleeding, lifeless eyes staring up at me…I dreamt about them often after that. I hadn't killed a thing before leaving Highever, not even a chicken. Now here I was killing darkspawn to defend us, which I understood, but those farmers were no real threat, where they? And then the bandits on the road. And the cultists protecting what they thought was Andraste. And the dwarves, standing up for the king they believed in that just happened to disagree with our choice of king. How high is our body count Alistair? Who were we to make that decision to end their lives?"

"We did what we had to," Alistair tried to reassure her. "No, it wasn't ideal, but to gather the armies we needed against this Blight, we had to."

"Kill a handful then to save the country now?" Elyse asked.

Alistair nodded. "It would appear so."

She turned to meet his gaze. "So then I ask you this: how are our actions any different than Loghain's? He felt in his heart that there would be no winning that battle. He fled, sacrificing a handful to keep his army for the larger battle."

"It's not the same…" Alistair began.

"But it is," Elyse interrupted. "It only feels different because you lost people you care about. Would those farmers families understand our actions? The dwarves' families? Would they understand we did what we had to do for the greater good? Or would they be just as upset as you are?"

"It's not the same," Alistair said again, though he was starting to see her point.

"I need you with us in Ostagar," Elyse continued, seeing resolve in his eyes. "I know you say you are leaving the Wardens, but it's just us until this war is over. I don't completely trust Loghain either, but I trust you. There's no doubt that place is still crawling with darkspawn, and we stand a better chance with the three of us. We need to find out what was in that chest… Riordan and Eamon would not have agreed to this side trip before the battle if they didn't think it was important as well. Forget about doing it with Loghain. I'm asking you to do it for me."

Alistair watched as she stood, and remained silent as Elyse walked away toward camp. The very thought of fighting alongside Loghain disgusted him, but he couldn't help the realization that her words were true. Loghain did abandon all those at Ostagar, but they too had made some questionable choices, and had yet to discover the outcome. Facing Ostagar would be a way for Loghain to see the consequences of his actions. And as King, Alistair knew that one day, he would have to face the consequences of his own.


	3. War Council

The camp was silent as preparations were being made for the trip to Ostagar. Elyse observed Alistair packing a few items for the venture; though he hadn't come out and said he was going, she knew he had changed his mind when he began sharpening his sword the night before. She considered thanking him for his decision, but Zevran convinced her otherwise.

"Sometimes my dear, silence is best in these situations," he reminded her. "Though I can not be silent about your decision to leave me behind. If my place is by your side, remaining here makes that prospect a tad difficult."

Elyse smiled warmly at his concern. "I know you don't agree with me," she acknowledged. "But this is the highest concentration of darkspawn we have faced since Orzammar. You barely scraped by untainted in the Deep Roads, and I will not take that risk again."

"Your faith in my skill is overwhelming," Zevran said sarcastically as he handed her his stash of poison-filled vials.

"With the three of us there I need you here Zev," Elyse told him. "Someone I trust to protect the others. Sten is a valiant warrior but I can't tell from one minute to the next if Oghren is sober enough to hold his own weapon. I need to know the rest of you are safe while I do this, and I place my faith in your skill to do just that."

Zevran took her hand and kissed it. "As you wish, my dear Warden. But I expect you back in one piece, and I shall inspect every inch of you to assure myself it is so."

Elyse kissed him lightly. "I look forward to our reunion then," she said as she slung her pack over her shoulder. She glanced over at Loghain who stood tall, leaning against a tree, his arms folded across his chest in a stance of impatience. She nodded slightly and he retrieved the pack at his feet, his expression thankful to finally be underway.

"We ready to go?" Elyse asked to no one in particular, and expected no response. Alistair approached and then stood beside her, silent but ready. Her mabari released his howl of protest at being left behind, and Loghain moved toward the road without them. Elyse stifled the sigh she nearly allowed to escape, trying to keep as positive an attitude as possible before the day's events.

Elyse hadn't noticed it before, but Wynne had also prepared her things. "The events at Ostagar still haunt my thoughts Warden. If that is where you are headed, I would like to accompany you."

"Oh Wynne, I'm sorry, but…"

The mage cut her off. "Three stubborn Wardens trekking off to confront a horde of darkspawn alone just days before a battle on the archdemon is foolish and reckless. You will require healing, and therefore need me with you."

Elyse looked toward Alistair, who seemed to have no opinion on the matter. She made eye contact with Loghain, who gave her no more than a shrug. "Alright then, who am I to argue with logic? Just remember we have no idea what we're walking into, stay as far away from the fighting as you can."

Leliana and Zevran watched as the party departed, disappearing down the long road to Ostagar. "Do you think they'll kill each other?" Leliana asked, a worried expression reaching her eyes.

"Either that or they'll take their aggressions out on the darkspawn," Zevran replied. "Either way, problem solved, no?"

**.*~*~*.**  


Elyse was thankful for the extra layer of clothing she had decided on as the snow began to fall, making the area feel even more desolate than she could've imagined. Her companions remained silent through the journey, for which she was also thankful - the last thing she wished to do was get in the middle of another argument.

The last time she had walked down this road was with Duncan, still mourning the loss of her family, her home, and terrified of what the future would hold for her. Elyse imagined that the others were facing their own memories: Alistair arriving with Duncan, Loghain and his army escorting Cailan, and Wynne with the other mages, watched by Templars for any sign of escape. They had all come to be in this place from different circumstances, and now they returned with the same goal: get the documents Cailan had left behind, and if they were lucky, find some peace within themselves.

"I was a different person last time I was here," Alistair whispered, breaking the silence. "I believed him, Cailan, that it would be a glorious battle that we would win."

"I believed him too," Wynne added. "Though we were all a bit different then, younger, perhaps even a little innocent."

Loghain scoffed at the two, but focused his venomous words toward Alistair. "I can't tell if it's stupidity that runs in the Therein bloodline, or your unrealistic idealizing of a King and brother you never knew," he said.

"And never will know, thanks to you," Alistair said, biting his tongue from continuing.

Elyse shook her head as she began to wonder if this was a bad idea. _Too late now_ , she thought, as she met up with Loghain who had stopped walking.

"What is that?" he asked, a pained expression on his face.

"You're sensing darkspawn," Elyse informed him. "An odd sensation at first, but you get used to it." She closed her eyes briefly to focus on what she too was feeling. The darkspawn were still in the area, that much was certain, and there were a lot of them. Slowly she opened her eyes again, allowing them to adjust to the blinding daylight glistening off the snow. "We ready? They aren't far."

Alistair nodded as he withdrew his weapon, and the group moved forward. The crunch of their boots on the freshly fallen snow did little to help mask their approach, but the darkspawn were as aware of their presence as they were of them. Within a matter of seconds, the foul creatures were upon them, and the fighting began.

The hurlocks attacked first, and Elyse and Alistair met their blows with ease. Having fought alongside each other gave them the advantage, as they anticipated each others moves and counteracted the darkspawn's. Loghain fought on his own, shielded by Wynne and assaulting several shrieks that came from beneath the ground. When the hurlocks were finished off, Elyse assisted Loghain in his fight. One of the shrieks attempted to overwhelm him, pinning him to the ground, but Elyse stuck her blade in its back, ending the assault. She extended her hand to help Loghain back to his feet as he brushed the darkspawn ichor from the front of his armor. "Charming creatures," he said. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Elyse replied, glaring at Alistair who hadn't bothered to assist Loghain. "But we're not done yet, I sense more of them around that corner."

The group charged forward, clearing out more darkspawn that came out from behind a row of several tall pillars. Elyse decided to give Alistair a taste of his own stubbornness, leaving him to battle alone while she fought beside Loghain. Wynne was instrumental in keeping the man protected, assisting with her magic and healing small scrapes as necessary. It wasn't until the fighting had stopped that Elyse noticed Loghain bent on one knee, leaning over a large turned-over table.

"Are you injured?" she asked, searching for gashes in his armor.

"No," Loghain replied, running his hand along the edges of the wood. "Do you know what this is?"

Elyse could see it was a table, what was visible anyway as it was half buried in snow. But as she studied the pillars, and turned around to get her bearings, it came to her. "The war council table," she said, seeing the guilt in his eyes for the first time.

"A meeting I wasn't privy to, thanks to Duncan," Alistair said, as jealous and childish as he had the night of that council meeting. "I'll leave you two to reminisce, check the corpses for anything we can use."

"I'll join you," Wynne said, leaving Loghain and Elyse alone.

"Such a stubborn fool," Loghain muttered, referring to Cailan that night.

Elyse knelt in front of him. "I remember. You and he arguing over waiting for the Orlesians, and his decision to stand by the Wardens in the assault. I have to admit, it was a bit awkward for me, watching the two of you go at each other. You had strong, solid ideas, but you're right. Cailan was stubborn, and a bit of a child in many ways."

"Don't let your friend hear you say that," Loghain warned.

Elyse smiled. "In truth, I half expected Cailan to stomp his feet like one having a fit, the way he kept saying that he's the king, as if you didn't know. Too bad he didn't learn to listen to his advisors."

"Cailan was much like his father that way," Loghain stated. "But he wouldn't hear logic, he wanted to play the hero. His fascinations with glory and legends... I warned him it would be his undoing."

Elyse made sure Alistair was out of earshot before asking her next question. "Loghain, if I may ask you something?"

"Like I could stop you?" he said, though not unkindly.

"Cailan knew, didn't he, about Alistair?"

Loghain nodded. "Picked up on that, did you? Yes, he knew. I don't know if he was envious that the boy was a Warden and he couldn't become one, but yes, that was the reason he sent Alistair to light the beacon instead of my men. I'm not certain how he figured it out though, if it was when Alistair arrived at camp or if Duncan told him, but he knew."

"Alistair should know," Elyse said. "He's always blamed Duncan for sending him away from battle, even after Duncan told him it was Cailan's decision."

"What good would that do?" Loghain asked. "Reopening old wounds is pointless."

"Not if it means knowing his brother cared about him, even if he couldn't show it for political reasons," Elyse told him. "He's lived with that anger toward Duncan all this time, an anger Duncan's memory doesn't deserve. It could be turned into a fonder memory of his brother watching out for him."

Loghain stood, brushing the snow off his legs. "I see no reason for it, but if you believe it's best than you do it. I doubt he'd listen to me anyhow."

Elyse looked over at Alistair, who was bent over a darkspawn corpse, Wynnes hand on his shoulder. They seemed to be having a moment of their own, one she didn't wish to interrupt. Alistair deserved to know the truth, of that she was certain, but perhaps now wasn't the best time.


	4. Mementos

Alistair's knees had become numb as they were embedded in the snow, but he had long since forgotten the sting. His hands continued to glide over the piece of armor they had found on the fallen hurlock. Cailan's greaves, the massive boots that the king had worn into battle, were as cold as the weather around them.

"What's the matter, Alistair?" Wynne questioned, placing her hand on his shoulder.

"I don't know," he replied, still brushing the dirty snow off the boots. "It just feels wrong to find this here, poured over by darkspawn and thick with their rot. It was _his_ , not something to be discarded or used in this manner."

"I know," Wynne replied. "I feel it too. But he is not the first king to ever fall in battle, or even the first to fall to the darkspawn."

"Yes, but this wound cuts deeper," Alistair said, uncomforted by her words.

"And it will bleed longer," Wynne said. "But we must keep moving. No doubt the darkspawn are eager to give us plenty more reasons to mourn."

Alistair stood, brushing the snow from his trousers before handing her the boots. "Will you care for them when we return? Maybe I'll give them to Anora, I don't know, I just can't imagine leaving them here."

"Of course," Wynne replied. She watched as Alistair moved on to the next corpse, systematically stripping it of anything he could find useful.

"What's he prattling on about?" Loghain asked as he and Elyse approached Wynne.

Wynne handed the greaves to Loghain, hoping to prompt some reaction. "How cold does the king's metal feel in your hands?" she asked, not bothering to hide the distaste for him in her tone.

"I feel nothing old woman," Loghain said as he returned the boots to her. "And your constant prodding for regrets will gain you little."

"What if it had been your daughter in his place?" Wynne asked. "Would you have regrets then?"

"That's not fair Wynne," Elyse interjected.

Loghain was ready with his response. "If I had raised her to be a fool such as Cailan was, I'd be in no better position to save her. Your king would've fallen to the darkspawn either way. It was my decision to ensure they didn't have us all." He took a step forward, but then turned to continue. "You should mind your tongue about things with which you know nothing about. Cailan was still Maric's son, and my daughter's husband. Though you choose to believe otherwise, those things mean something to me." He then continued on down the path ahead of them, not bothering to wait for her reply.

"Why you support that man is beyond me," Wynne said to Elyse.

"And why you don't is beyond me," Elyse replied. "Did you not hear him? That's probably the closest admission of guilt you're going to get. He grieves too Wynne, just as we all do. You of all people should understand having regrets about decisions made in the past, and stop throwing it in his face every chance you get."

Elyse watched Alistair disappear over the hill of snow, and she decided now was as best a time as any to follow. Once she reached the top of the mound, she saw exactly where he had gone, and recognized the area immediately.

"Odd how this place hasn't been touched by the darkspawn," Elyse commented, following the freshly created footprints made by Alistair in the snow. "They haven't come here at all."

"Doesn't look like it," Alistair said, walking the length of the platform.

"Hard to believe it all started here," Elyse recalled. "The site of the Joining, the day that changed my life forever."

"I was so nervous for you, feared you wouldn't survive," Alistair admitted. "After what happened with Jory, and then Daveth…"

Elyse nodded. "They were good men, taken too young regardless of circumstance. It's almost as if the darkspawn fear this place. Maybe they know this is where a Warden came to be."

Alistair shrugged. "Maybe." He turned to face her. "Do you regret it? Knowing what you know now, do you wish you too would've challenged Duncan just as Jory had?"

"If I had, I'd be dead," Elyse smiled. "So can't say that I do. Not the most glamorous part of Duncan's job, I'm sure, having to make those hard decisions, knowing his choice in recruits sends them to their death, either by the Joining or the Calling."

"Or the darkspawn," Alistair added. "No, I imagine it wasn't easy. He never really talked about those that didn't survive, or the ones like Jory who fought back. I suppose that explained the sadness that always lingered in his eyes."

"But there was great pride in those eyes too," Elyse added. "Whenever he looked at you, I could see it. He was proud of you, and would be most proud at the decisions you've made since. The new King of Ferelden in the boy he once knew, I think that would've helped some of his sadness."

"I hope so. Maker, I miss him."

"I know you do," Elyse replied. "And I know not being by Duncan's side in the final battle has weighed heavily on your mind. Alistair, you have to know, that was not his decision."

Alistair shook his head. "You were there, you heard him send us off to the tower."

"He was doing so under orders," Elyse told him. "Cailan ordered it, just as Duncan said. Loghain confirmed it for me; Cailan knew you were Maric's son. It was the king that demanded you not be in the fight, probably for that very reason. He didn't want to see you harmed any more than Duncan did. They both cared about you enough to keep you safe."

"Cailan knew?" he repeated, seeking confirmation.

Elyse nodded. "I don't know exactly when or how Cailan became aware. I'm afraid if you want those answers, Loghain is the person you need to talk to."

"I'll pass, thanks," Alistair said. "We should get out of here before the others get into trouble."

"What's that?" Elyse asked, suddenly distracted by a glint of metal in the snow.

Alistair turned to follow her gaze, the suns light revealing a round disk protruding from the weathered ground. "I'm not sure," he said as he moved toward it. He pulled on the metal and, as the snow fell away, a large stem and then a cup revealed itself. "I can't believe it," he exclaimed. "It's the Joining Chalice!"

Elyse ran over to him and Alistair handed her the cup. "This survived here all this time? Oh Alistair, this is an amazing find! Here," she said giving it back to him. "You should keep it."

Alistair refused the item. "A reminder of the day that changed your life, and of the man who rescued us both. You could use it for future recruits, maybe tell them of Duncan and your Joining."

She smiled. "Alright then, I will take great care of it. Thank you Alistair."

"We could use some help here!" Loghain's voice called in the distance, and Elyse quickly secured the chalice in her pack as they ran toward the next battle.


	5. Royal Arms Chest

The darkspawn were relentless in their attacks. Waves of hurlocks, genlocks, blight wolves, and shrieks pounded on the three Wardens for what seemed like an eternity. Wynne did her best to keep up healing on the group, but she was faltering quickly with very few lyrium potions left to consume. Elyse tried not to panic as she caught the older mage leaning against a tree, appearing to try and catch her breath as they continued their battle.

Loghain seemed to be out to prove a point, striking whatever creature crossed his path. His sword bested most of the darkspawn, many losing vital parts of their body as they slumped into the freshly fallen snow. Elyse briefly wondered just how sharp that sword was, or if his strength alone was cutting the creatures in half.

Once the area was clear of the foul creatures, Elyse allowed the others to rest as she ventured toward the statue Elric had spoken of and searched for the hidden key to the Royal Arms chest. She heard Wynne and Alistair's whispers on the wind; having found Cailan's shield, they were wondering what to do with it. Loghain appeared uninterested in the discussion when she glanced in his direction; though he probably heard of the discovery as well, his attention was focused on cleaning his sword of the tainted blood.

It took some digging into the frozen ground with her dagger to find the key. Elyse couldn't help but smile, as she knew without a doubt Zevran would scold her upon their return for using her weapon in such a foul manner. Already having damaged it beyond the simple use of a whetstone, she used it to cut some dead branches off a fallen tree to prepare a small fire for lunch.

"Wasn't it you who said we should not linger alone in this place?" Loghain asked as he approached her.

Elyse shrugged. "I'm within screaming distance, I think that was the rule. Here, make yourself useful," she said as she handed him the twigs she was carrying. "It appears the old bonfire pit the Wardens created last time we were here is somewhat intact. I think everyone needs a meal and a few minutes rest before moving on."

"I think everyone would rather be done with this place than sit around a fire and tell stories," Loghain said.

"Less than an hour, promise," Elyse assured him. "We may have Warden stamina running through our veins, but our healer does not. She'd never admit it, but Wynne needs the time to regain her strength."

Loghain sighed. "Bringing her was a mistake," he stated. "She's slowing us down."

"She's healed you more times than you're bothering to keep track of," Elyse informed him. "And she's keeping Alistair occupied so his attentions aren't always focused on his hatred of you. Leave her be."

"Whatever you say, Commander."

Elyse ignored him and continued gathering wood until she was satisfied she had enough, and then the two rejoined Alistair and Wynne. "Any thoughts as to where the chest may be?" she asked the group.

"It was in my tent, last I saw," Loghain responded. "I doubt the darkspawn bothered to move it, damned thing's heavy. Took five of my men to carry it here."

"And you were setup just over there if I remember correctly," Elyse said, pointing west of their current position. "I'll go take a look while you prepare a small fire and something to eat."

Loghain objected. "You shouldn't keep wandering off on your own," he scolded her as if she were a child. "Only three of us here, you'll do us no good if you're dead."

"Alright then, you're free to come along," Elyse said. "But I assure you, leaving Alistair to cook lunch will be a decision you'll regret."

"Hey!" Alistair said, his lower lip protruding in a sulky pout.

Elyse offered him a smile as the two disappeared around a crumbling stone wall, in the direction of Loghain's former encampment.

****

**.*~*~*.**

"I can't believe it's still here," Elyse said as they approached the chest, the top of the gold box glistening as the sunlight shone down upon it. "Looks like the rest of this area was either torn apart from the war or is buried under this snow."

Loghain shrugged. "I didn't bring much," he stated, kicking the snow around the chest with his boot. "Most of us assumed this was a one way trip, regardless of Cailan's tales of glory."

"Let's hope this lock fairs as well as the rest of the chest," Elyse said as she knelt down to insert the key. With a turn to the right, the locking mechanism clicked, and the top of the chest popped open. The contents were unharmed from the weather; resting inside the red velvet-lined box were several jewels, a blade, and a stack of envelopes, all dry and in pristine condition. Elyse removed the blade and handed it to Loghain. "Not as sharp as yours I imagine," she said, "but still a fine weapon to hold."

"It was Maric's," Loghain whispered as he ran his fingers along the braided hilt. "I had no idea Cailan even brought it with him."

"Must have been important to him," Elyse said. "Enough to bring with him here and keep so secure."

Loghain shrugged. "I never took Cailan to be the sentimental type. Maybe he thought to give it to the boy. Whatever his intentions were, he did not share them with me."

Elyse sat back on her heels. "You should keep it," she suggested. "Not that I'm saying _you_ are the sentimental type, but I imagine it means more to you than it would to Alistair. He didn't know Maric, always saw Duncan as more of a father figure. But you and Maric were close, right?"

"He found this sword in the Deep Roads," Loghain told her, ignoring her prying question. "Hard to believe the runes are still intact."

"Okay, we'll go with deflection for now," Elyse said, gathering the gems and letters from the chest. "But some day I expect to hear all about your travels with the former King of Ferelden, just so you know."

Loghain didn't seem to hear her as he was still studying the weapon in his hands. That, or he was ignoring her, Elyse wasn't certain. She stood, brushing the dirt and snow from her knees, and closed the chest. She placed the gems in her pouch, and studied the three envelopes in her hand. "We can figure out what to do with the jewels later. Let's get back and open these letters, find out what was so important that Elric was willing give his life for, and what Cailan wanted the Wardens to know."


	6. The Letters

****_Author's Note: Many thanks to you readers for your patience, and to my beta Erana. A reminder that this is slightly AU; some in-game content has been changed to make a little more sense, at least in my head._ ** **

* * *

Loghain began sharpening Maric's blade, the long strokes across the whetstone the only sound besides the occasional gust of wind. The others sat around the campfire, thankful for the break in the fighting, but also a bit anxious to continue on and leave the abandoned ruins.

"You should eat something," Wynne said to Loghain when he had passed on the bowl of stew presented to him.

"Your concern for my appetite is noted," Loghain said sarcastically as his attention remained on the longsword.

Elyse observed the care in which he handled the weapon. "I bet there's some history behind that," she said, hoping to get Loghain to open up about Maric.

Loghain paused from his task to look at her. Had they been alone, he might have indulged her with a story or two of his trip through the Deep Roads with Maric. But they weren't alone, as he was all too aware of Alistair's gaze upon him. "Whatever history there is will not be shared by me," he replied before returning to his work.

Elyse stared at him a bit longer before deciding to change the topic of conversation. If Loghain didn't want to open up about Alistair's father, which was probably more of the reason he chose to remain silent she assumed, she turned the groups attention to the letters they found in the chest. "Along with the sword and some jewels, we found three letters," she explained to Alistair and Wynne. "I suppose they classify as the documentation Elric was referring to, as we found nothing else."

"What do the letters say?" Wynne asked.

Elyse set her bowl on the ground and retrieved the parchments. "Two are from Celene," she said as she scanned the pages, "and one from Arl Eamon."

"Why would Cailan bring a letter from Eamon here?" Alistair asked.

"The better question is why would he have letters from the Empress of Orlais," Loghain stated, setting Maric's blade aside. The mention of Celene was worth his full attention. "Read them."

Elyse nodded, and read the first letter aloud to the group. "'To his Majesty, King Cailan of Ferelden. My Warden-Commander assures me that we face a Blight. This thing threatens us both, and we must work together to fight it, lest it devour all. Our two nations have not had a happy history, but that is all it is - history. It is the future that is at stake now. Let us put aside our father's disagreements so that we may secure a future for both our countries. My Chevaliers stand ready and will accompany the Grey Wardens of Orlais to Ferelden. At your word the might of Orlais will march to reinforce the Ferelden forces.'"

"So it's true," Alistair said. "Cailan had convinced the forces of Orlais to align against the darkspawn."

"It appears so," Wynne said. "Empress Celene was merely awaiting his response."

"A response that never came," Alistair stated, glaring at Loghain. "And now never will."

Elyse observed Loghain, who remained silent, as he returned his attention back to sharpening Maric's sword. "No comment?" she asked him. "Almost as if you already knew about this."

Loghain sighed, setting the longsword to lay in his lap. "Are you accusing me of something?"

"When I first came here to Ostagar, before the battle, I remember the guards commenting about how you and Cailan were constantly arguing," Elyse said. "I have to ask Loghain, were you purposefully trying to prevent the Orlesian Wardens from arriving in time to fight? Is that what you two argued about?"

Loghain stared down at her. "The Wardens in this camp cared for only one thing; defeating the darkspawn. While I did not share Cailan's fascination for them, I admired their loyalty to saving Ferelden. I can not say the same for the Wardens of Orlais; they are still Orlesian first, and allowing them entrance again into Ferelden, Wardens or no, would have been a grave mistake."

"Had they been here, the battle might have ended differently," Alistair said.

"Doubtful," Loghain replied. "They were still weeks away, and the darkspawn grew in numbers by the hour. Had a larger army arrived, they would have simply perished with the others."

"No," Alistair said. "You're wrong. With the Orlesian Wardens and your army, we would have had a fighting chance!"

"Have you ever asked yourself why Duncan only recruited a handful of you?" Loghain said, ignoring Alistair's growing temper. "Why he did not use his Rite of Conscription to gain more than, what was it, three additional Wardens? He knew as well as Cailan that this was a battle that was not going to be won here at Ostagar. Weisshaupt did not send all of its troops, Orlais wasn't about to either. Celene was merely trying to gain access to Ferelden, using the threat of a Blight and the promise of her army as a way in. And on the off chance we had been successful, her entire army would be here, ready to strike while we were at our weakest."

"You're paranoid," Alistair stated.

"My earliest memory is of Orlesian soldiers raping and killing my mother," Loghain admitted, standing in anger. "Years later my father too fell at their hand. Maric and I fought tirelessly to rid Ferelden of the Orlesian occupancy, so do not judge me for not welcoming their return with open arms." He turned his back on the group to regain his composure. "The second letter," he whispered to Elyse. "Read it."

Elyse hesitated for a moment, a sudden desire to comfort Loghain overwhelming her. She had heard the stories of the Orlesian occupancy, but wasn't aware of what happened to Loghain's family. Seeing the embarrassed flush upon Alistair's cheeks, and receiving a silent nod from Wynne, she cleared her throat, and then read the second letter. "This one is from Arl Eamon, to Cailan. 'Your Majesty, my men will arrive as soon as possible to bolster your forces. Maker willing, this Blight will be ended before it has begun.

"'Cailan, I beseech you, as your uncle, not to join the Grey Wardens on the Field. You cannot afford to take this risk. Ferelden cannot afford it. Let me remind you again that you do not have an heir. Your death, and it pains me even to think of it, would plunge Ferelden into chaos.'"

"That is all that old fool ever thought about," Loghain commented. "Curious, his misguided concern, considering he knew about Alistair's existence."

"There's more," Elyse said as she skimmed the rest of the letter. "You're not going to like it though," she warned Loghain.

"I already don't like it," he said. "Continue."

Elyse shook her head as she read the last paragraph of the letter. "'Perhaps when this is over, you will allow me to bring up the subject of your heir. While a son from both the Theirin and Mac Tir lines would unite Ferelden like no other, we must accept that perhaps this can never be. The queen approaches her thirtieth year and her ability to give you a child lessens with each passing month. I submit to you again that it might be time to put Anora aside. We parted harshly the last time I spoke of this, but it has been a full year since then and nothing has changed.'"

"Put her aside?" Loghain repeated, rage building inside him. "Like my daughter is some damaged cattle? I should've killed that bastard when I had the chance."

"He admits Cailan fought him when they last spoke of it," Wynne said, trying to calm Loghain. "No matter what Eamon's wishes were, the king would never consider such a thing."

"Never say never," Elyse warned, reading the third letter to herself. "The last letter is also from Celene, a slightly more familiar tone than the first one."

Loghain ripped the letter out of her hand and read it. "'My visit to Ferelden will be postponed indefinitely, due to the darkspawn problem. You understand, of course? The darkspawn have odd timing, don't they? Let us deal with them first. Once that is done we can further discuss a permanent alliance between Orlais and Ferelden. I look forward to seeing you again.'" Loghain crumpled the parchment in his hand and tossed it into the fire. "Again? That cheating bastard!"

"Watch your mouth Loghain Mac Tir," Wynne warned. "Unless you have forgotten the company you now keep."

"It is not my company I worry about, madam, but my former son-in-laws." Loghain's anger was clear in his expression, his knuckles turning white from clenched fists. "Did you hear the familiar tone in which the empress writes him?" he asked, turning to Elyse. "As if my daughter were not already his wife!"

Elyse shook her head. "Cailan loved Anora with every ounce of his heart, it was plain for all to see," she said.

"Yes, that's true," Wynne agreed. "The only thing that ever stood between them was you."

Loghain turned on his heel to confront the mage. "Are you blind old woman? The plot was plain as day within that letter. Love or no, Cailan was going to cast my daughter aside and wed himself to that bitch Celene. In a single vow, Orlais would claim all that they could never win by war. And what would Ferelden gain? A fool of a king who could strut about and call himself an emperor."

Now Alistair stood, his temper nearly matching Loghain's. "I've heard enough disrespect of our king for one day," he said. "Cailan is dead, is that not good enough revenge for you?"

"Why must I be cursed to deal with all of Maric's children?" Loghain asked to no one in particular. Turning to Alistair, he gave the young Theirin his reply. "The ramifications if Cailan's plan came to fruition would have been far worse than my removal of troops from the battlefield."

"How convenient for you then that Cailan didn't survive," Alistair stated.

"How convenient for Ferelden," Loghain clarified. "But you'd do well to mind your tongue, boy. Cailan was Maric's son, married to my daughter, and I hold more respect for him than I do for you, his bastard child."

Alistair had heard enough, and reached for his sword. "It should have been you that died here and not Cailan," he said, closing the distance between them.

Loghain reached for Maric's blade and stood ready. "And I suppose you're the one that's going to run me through? Let's see what you're made of, if you are even worthy of my daughter or Ferelden."

"Hold on," Elyse said as she stood. "Are you two really going to come to blows here? Now?"

"If the boy wants to fight, let him," Loghain said, securing his shield on his left arm.

Elyse knew she'd get nowhere with Loghain, so she pleaded with Alistair. "There are darkspawn around every corner, and you want to risk doing this? For what, some stupid male ego?"

"For my brother," Alistair said, saying the word aloud for the first time. "For Duncan. For all who fell that day, because of him."

Without warning, Alistair lunged forward, and the fight began.


	7. Duels and Darkspawn

Elyse stood with Wynne several paces away from the fight. Loghain and Alistair had been battling for several minutes, at first silently, and then the shouting began to carry across the wind between the echoes of clashing steel. Each time Elyse stepped forward to intervene, Wynne placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"They need to work this out, should you wish anything to be resolved," Wynne told her. "That was your goal in bringing them both here, wasn't it?"

"Yes," Elyse nodded. "To work things out, not to kill each other. Wynne, we can't let this continue. One of them is going to get hurt, or both of them. This is ridiculous."

Wynne smiled. "Yes dear, it is. But they are not like us. We can sit, talk, work out our problems with some words, patience, and understanding. Men have always been ox-headed and stubborn. It's better this way, here with us to protect them and make sure it doesn't go too far."

"It's already gone too far," Elyse said. "This is stupid, bordering on immature and insane."

"But it is working," Wynne whispered. "Listen to them, their words. They are getting off their chest all of the frustration they feel for each other. The burdens that have been weighing heavily on their minds and hearts. I wasn't so sure about how this would turn out, but I have a feeling you may have been right in bringing them together like this."

Elyse sighed. "When you're drained of mana healing their wounds, I will remind you that you said that."

**.*~*~*.**

"Admit that this is your doing," Alistair said to Loghain as he swung his sword toward him. "Accept the consequences of your actions the day you left us all here to die!"

"You think I don't know what I left behind?" Loghain said, raising his shield to block another strike. _Clang._ "Your king and brother was my best friend's son, Rowan's son, my daughter's husband... Do not tell me I haven't a care about these things." Another swing toward Alistair, another parry. _Clink._ "I have seen hate and contempt in Anora's eyes. For me, her own father."

"Then why?" Alistair asked, dodging to his left to avoid being stricken by his father's sword. "'For the good of Ferelden' just doesn't cut it Loghain." He was getting tired, his arm feeling strained under the weight of his weapon, but Alistair would not back down. He refused to appear weak in front of his enemy. "Hundreds died here while you fled, ran away with your army! Their blood still stains the ground we fight on!" _Clank._

"Their blood stains the ground of all of Ferelden," Loghain snarled as he dodged another swing. _Clink._ "My father, his army, and those that sacrificed themselves for Maric. War is a part of ruling, you best get used to it."

Alistair shook his head. "And what honor did you bring their memory by fleeing from Cailan's side?"

Loghain's jaw clenched, and the full on assault that followed told Alistair he had gone too far. With each swing of the sword, every statement was punctuated by the clanging of weapons meeting midair. "You know nothing," Loghain spat. "Of war. Of sacrifice. Of honor." _Clang, clank, clang_. "Duncan protected you." _Clink_. "Eamon shielded you." _Clank_. "Cailan saved you." _Clang, clank_.

With both engaged in heated battle, they were stunned when the air suddenly crackled with electricity, and a bright light reflected off the fallen snow, nearly blinding them. Both warriors stopped mid-fight as a bolt of lightning came toward them from somewhere in the distance, and the intensity of the taint they had thought mere adrenaline consumed them. They leapt back, barely escaping the bolt, which hit the ground and scorched the earth. "Emissary!" Elissa yelled, as she swiftly moved in the direction of the darkspawn.

"What are you doing?" Alistair yelled, quickly following behind. One of these days she was going to get herself killed with the way she lept into battle, he thought. Wynne was not far away, shielding the Warden's to protect against the magic attacks from the creature. Luckily the darkspawn was alone, and with the three of them quickly upon it, he went down within seconds.

"How foolish can you be, charging off without backup?" Loghain said, echoing Alistair's thoughts.

Elissa looked at the both of them. "About as foolish as two grown men, fighting over a past that can not be changed, in the middle of a darkspawn infested area. Are you two just about done? I'd like to get out of here."

Alistair and Loghain looked at one another. Neither would agree, but both silently stowed their weapons.

"Good," Elissa said. "Let's move on. We have the tower to clear out, and we should be good to go from there."

"Wardens," Wynne whispered behind them, and all three turned to look at her, and then followed her gaze to the middle of the bridge.

Slowly the group walked toward the large erected structure that held the body of their beloved king. His head hung low, armor and shirt stripped from his long dead corpse. It appeared he was hanging on some long strips of metal, and there were several arrows still embedded in his chest.

"I remember the hangings in the wilds," Elyse said, recalling the day of her Joining. "When we first set out together, the darkspawn had displayed the dead as a warning, or maybe as proof of victory. It looks like Cailan was the grand prize with the amount of effort it must have taken to get him up there."

"Are you alright Alistair?" Wynne asked the warrior.

Alistair shook his head. "I can't believe they'd do this," he said. "They left him here to rot. We need to do something, find a way to get him down from there."

"The boy is right," Loghain stated. "He may have been a fool, but he doesn't deserve to be strung up like this."

"I can hardly believe I am hearing you both agree on something," Elyse said, staring upward at Cailan. "I wish I had a chance to know him more than I had. He seemed so sure of himself, so certain that we would win."

"We will," Loghain said. "Only not as he planned. Let us finish the task at hand. Once the darkspawn have been eradicated from the area, we will give him what little honor we can afford to grant him."


	8. The Final Battle

The Tower of Ishal. The dark stone was a heavy contrast against the backdrop of snow peaked mountains. Elyse looked upon the tall structure, memories of the battle flooding her mind; the ascent through the building, the battles with darkspawn, and the defeat of the ogre. They had come so far, had hoped they were not too late, and lit the beacon to signal Loghain's troops to advance. Darkness consumed them all after that, and when they woke, their lives were changed forever.

"Look at it now," Elyse said to Alistair when he joined her side. "The entire roof is gone. How in the Maker's name did we survive?"

"A dragon," Loghain said behind them. "Some believed it was the archdemon finally making an appearance. Unphased by flame, the beast settled on the top of the building for only a few moments, and then disappeared as quickly as it arrived."

Alistair looked at Elyse. "Is it even possible?"

Elyse laughed uneasily. "Now are you glad I accepted Flemeth's deal?" She couldn't imagine having to face Flemeth in the form of a dragon. The witch terrified her enough as an old woman.

"I will never question your judgement again," Alistair whispered as he too stared at the exposed fourth level of the tower.

"It'll do you some good to remember that Alistair," Wynne said. "Now let us continue before night falls."

**.*~*~*.**

"We're getting closer," Alistair said as they moved through the dark tunnels. Relentless attacks from the darkspawn had them all exhausted, but Alistair felt the end was near. "Feel it? There aren't many left."

Elyse nodded. "We must be getting near the core of the horde. Good news for us."

"Thrilling," Loghain said, his voice laced with sarcasm. He hadn't said a word as they descended under the tower, and remained quiet through every encounter with the darkspawn since.

"Not a fan of the dark Loghain?" Elyse asked. "You've been awfully quiet ever since we entered the underground."

"I prefer a sky above my head," Loghain stated. "These ruins are unstable and could come down upon us at any moment. And they remind me of the Deep Roads, a place I never wish to visit again."

Alistair looked at Elyse. Had she not informed Loghain of the Warden's end? He had assumed she would, or at the very least Riordan, once he had gone through the Joining. She caught his gaze and shook her head, quietly confirming his suspicion. Regardless of what he thought of the man, Loghain should've been told everything. But since he had just sworn to not question her judgement, Alistair remained silent.

Wynne joined in the conversation. "There is light up ahead," she informed them. "Perhaps another way out of the ruins without having to come back the way we came."

Loghain took the lead, thankful to see the sunlight reflect off the stone below their feet. He exited the tunnels first and looked out across the large open space. The taint within warned him that there was a large number of darkspawn in this area, but they were nowhere in sight.

The others followed behind, savoring the fresh air after spending nearly an hour in the cramped confines of the darkspawn tunnels. Loghain looked out across the snow covered field. "The main battle was here," he told the others. "The darkspawn came toward our army; there must have been hundreds, maybe a thousand. Cailan called for the archers, and then released the mabari packs. Combined, they barely put a dent in the oncoming horde."

"What happened next?" Elyse asked.

"Cailan ordered his men forward," Loghain told her. "Many fell, many would continue to fall. No one anticipated how enormous their army would be. They brought their own ballistae, sent flaming arrows into the crowd. As we waited for the beacon to be lit, we watched the destruction happening around us. I hadn't planned on quitting the field until that moment, when I realized that we would be as easily crushed within seconds of joining the battle."

"So it wasn't your plan to abandon King Cailan from the beginning?" Wynne asked.

"No," Loghain answered. "It's no secret that I didn't trust the Wardens," he continued. "I wanted my men lighting the beacon because I trusted they would do so at the critical stage of the battle. I continued to watch from the sidelines and the signal did not come; the delay only fueled my suspicions."

Alistair finally spoke up. "The delay was not our fault!"

Loghain nodded. "I know that now, but at the time we thought the tower free of darkspawn, and had no understanding of why there would be a delay. And then we saw the ogres enter this field. We watched as one picked up Cailan and crushed him, tossing him aside like a rag doll. It was gruesome, but it was already done. Even if my army had joined the fray, Cailan was still lost."

The four now stared out into the field, as if they were imagining the battle Loghain had described. "The last thing we saw was Duncan," Loghain said. "He took down that ogre that killed Cailan. Quite the valiant and heroic act from where I stood. Unfortunately it was his last."

"Duncan was beside Cailan the entire time?" Alistair asked.

Loghain nodded. "They fought together, just as Cailan had wanted."

"From all that you have shared with us, it sounds like you made the right decision," Wynne admitted.

"Wait, what?" Alistair asked. "You're agreeing with him now?"

Wynne looked at Alistair. "For so long we did not know what his motives were," she said to him. "But Loghain is one of the best war strategists, and if he felt retreat was the best course of action, then I believe him. It wasn't long after that many came to the same conclusion, otherwise I would not be standing here."

"It still might have made a difference," Alistair muttered, struggling to admit to himself that Wynne may be right.

The snap of a twig caught Elyse's attention, and she put an end to the current conversation. "Our welcoming party is about to join us," she told the others. "Be ready."

It was the hardest battle they had endured since returning to Ostagar. A genlock necromancer did not make it easy on them as he summoned to life the deceased darkspawn that scattered the area. Nor was it any easier when he resurrected the very ogre that had killed Cailan. But the anger in their hearts at what these creatures had done to their king helped them to continue on, and it was only a matter of time before the darkspawn corpses littered the field once more.

Not only did they find the remaining pieces of Cailan's armor, but imbedded in the ogre was Duncan's sword and dagger. Loghain retrieved the weapons and presented them to Alistair, a gesture that surprised him as well as Wynne and Elyse. "I imagine he'd want you to have them," Loghain said. "Instead of leaving them here among the darkspawn."

**.*~*~*.**

With all the remaining darkspawn defeated, the four headed back to the bridge to attend to Cailan. It took some effort on their part to remove the king's body from where the darkspawn had hung him. Alistair and Loghain worked together in retrieving Cailan, while Elyse and Wynne built the pyre. He was of royal blood, and deserved as much of a funeral as they could offer him.

"I did not want to see this happen to Cailan," Loghain said as he lit the pyre. "But it seemed necessary at the time, like many things do I suppose."

"No," Alistair replied. "This isn't something you can explain away. The man you killed, the son of Maric, is right here in this field of the dead."

"I am aware, Alistair, thank you," Loghain said. "But tell me, what would be enough? What form of penance matters to a dead man?" He sighed as he returned his gaze toward the pyre. "I regret many things, but dwelling on what could've been serves no one, least of all Cailan. I made my choices with the good of Ferelden in mind. I continue to say it because it is true, whether you believe me or not. It is not...easy, living with the consequences of those choices."

Alistair felt his resolve begin to subside. He remembered the words Elyse had said to him when she convinced him to return to this place. _Loghain believes what he did was right, but he carries a lot of guilt for what he's done. How high is our own body count? Kill a handful then to save the country now._ And she was right. Loghain's armies marched to Redcliffe as their king burned. Their numbers alone might be what was needed to win the final battle against the darkspawn.

"Ferelden has a new king now," Loghain continued when Alistair remained silent. "One they can be proud of. One that Maric would be proud of."

Alistair turned to look at him, unsure if he heard the man correctly. "I wouldn't know," he said, looking back at Cailan. "I think he'd rather have the son he raised, instead of the one he tossed aside."

Loghain moved to stand in front of Alistair, feeling the heat of the fire on his back. "If you believe nothing else that I tell you, know this: Maric had little choice in sending you away. If you insist on hating me, add that to your list of reasons. Blame me for sending you to live with Eamon, not Maric."

"Why?" Alistair asked. "Why would you do such a thing?"

"For many reasons, that again seemed like the right ones at the time," Loghain replied. "The most important was Queen Rowan's memory. I didn't believe the country was ready to embrace proof that Maric had moved on from Ferelden's Queen. Being that she was Eamon's sister, he took little convincing to raise you. From what I understand, it was his wife that made things difficult for you, and for that I am sorry. But what else can you expect from an Orlesian?"

"I suppose it doesn't matter now," Alistair admitted. "I have so many questions about him, Maric that is. All I know is what's told in stories and bard songs."

Loghain stepped aside and turned back toward the fire, where Cailan's body quickly disappeared within the massive flames. "I may be able to help with that. Should you choose to believe my answers."

"You'd sate my curiosity?" Alistair asked, apprehensive as to Loghain's motives. "Why? You don't even like me."

"I didn't care for Cailan either," Loghain admitted. "But I have seen the contempt with which my daughter looks at me. I'd hate for you to think of your father in such a manner. Maric deserves more. As do you."

**.*~*~*.**

Wynne watched as Loghain and Alistair returned to the campfire. "You've done a good thing here Warden," she said to Elyse, who was gathering firewood.

Elyse stopped and followed Wynne's gaze. The two men were seated beside each other; Loghain talked as Alistair looked on in wonder. She could hardly believe her own eyes. "I had hoped it would come to this, though I had so many doubts along the way."

Wynne rested a hand on Elyse's shoulder. "You have united humans, dwarves, and elves into this war. Bringing two people together would appear easy compared to that, wouldn't it?"

"Easy," Elyse laughed. "Sure, as long as they keep their weapons sheathed." She continued to watch; seeing Alistair relax his posture for the first time since arriving, and witnessing Loghain talk so freely, it almost made her sad to think about what the future held for all of them.

"What is it dear?" Wynne asked, seeing the Warden's changed expression.

"The memory of a failed battle lingers here," Elyse said. "I hope it isn't an omen of things to come."

Wynne smiled. "You've already done the impossible. I suspect that will continue to be true, until the darkspawn and archdemon are defeated."

"From your mouth to the Maker's ears," Elyse said.

Wynne nodded. "I have no doubt that the Maker will watch over us all."

_~The End~_

* * *


End file.
